The Art of Letter-Writing

Hello! Amelia here 🙂

I am very far from an expert on pen-palling, and I would still call myself a beginner in the craft, but today I am going to be sharing about the art of pen-palling in hopes of enlightening you on the subject. 

I have two penpals, and both of them would be much better people to ask about the subject of letter-writing, but I have learned some things after the nine and a half months of pen-palling that I have done and I think some of it would be worth sharing with you. 

I knew very little about my first penpal before we started writing, but after reading one of her discussion questions from English class, I felt like God wanted me to start talking to her. I went on to the student cafe like I did every once in a while, and saw that the same girl I thought I should start talking to was asking if anyone wanted to be penpals! After a little hesitation, I knew right away that God really must have wanted me to start communicating with her, and He had provided the way to do it. It was a little scary to tell her I wanted to start writing because I’d really never done anything like that before, but once I got over the nervousness, we’ve been writing ever since! I have made two great friends through pen-palling, and it was and has been the exact thing I needed in my life, even though I didn’t know it at the time I started out.

What is a penpal?

The definition of a penpal is pretty common knowledge for some of us, but just in case someone wasn’t fully aware, I thought I would explain. The usual definition of a penpal is basically someone who you become friends with through writing letters, typically someone in a different country, but my definition is a little different. I don’t believe a penpal has to be someone you don’t know or someone who lives far away. Your penpal can be anyone, whether they live close or far away, or whether you know them well or not. 

Why would you want one?

Pen-palling is a fairly popular thing nowadays, and I would say there is good reason for that. With the instant communication we have in today’s time, some might wonder why people would want to correspond through letters that slowly make their way through the mail. But there’s something about the art of letter-writing that makes us slow down our everyday lives and have something to look forward to. Pen-palling lets you make friends in a different way than we’re used to today. You have to take the time to read, write, and send letters, which is much more invested and thoughtful than a simple text message or email.

How do you get one? 

If I hadn’t found both my penpals through my online English class, I would have had no idea where to look. I don’t have a lot of knowledge about finding pen pals to answer this question, since I really didn’t have to go looking for my penpals at all, but I thought of a couple ways you might be able to look for one if you were interested. One way that I think would be great for finding a penpal would be to first think about your family and friends. Your penpals don’t have to live far away from you, they could live in the same state or even neighborhood as you, so think about any family members or friends who might be interested in writing letters and who you might want to get to know a little better. Maybe you have an acquaintance or a friend you don’t live close to anymore that you could ask. There are also websites online that people use to get penpals, but I don’t know anything about them, and I would use them only at your own risk. My penpal also told me about how Focus on the Family’s Clubhouse Magazine offers a penpal sheet to fill out as well. I am sure there are many other ways to get penpals, so don’t despair if you feel like you will never find someone to write to. 

How do you really pick someone to write to?

We’ve discussed the ways you can look for a penpal, but it is important to know what kind of person you should really look for. Think about the things you believe are important in a friend or person. Try to look for someone who might share some similar things with you. It doesn’t necessarily have to be hobbies that you have in common, but views and faith and the way you choose to live. I think it’s nice when you share similar hobbies and interests with others, but you can still be great friends with someone who is different from you.

What supplies do you need to write letters?

There are quite a few people online who make videos about pen-palling, and they can be a great way to inspire you to continue writing letters, but something I dislike about a lot of the videos is that they make it seem like the more you include in your letter or the more money you put into it the better. And I’m sure they don’t mean it like that and it’s great that they want to put so much effort into their letters, but the truth is that you really don’t need much to write to a penpal. If you really care about what your penpal has to say and you write things you feel are important and interesting, you will truly succeed and benefit from writing letters. Though it is fun to make little things to put in your letters, you don’t have to do things like that or go with the trends you see online. Just write, and have fun in the process

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My tips and ideas for writing letters

Your first letter

Writing your first letter is exciting, a little scary, and a little hard all at the same time. Something that my first pen pal did was make a little chart to fill out for our first letters, which was a great idea! She had us each fill out a chart that had things like our favorite books, movies, food, music, Bible verse, etc., and our family members and birthdays, and things like that. I would definitely recommend doing this if you are considering getting a penpal. It really helps you get to know some details about your penpal which can start some great conversations! 

What do you talk about when writing letters?

It seems like it would be hard to find things to talk about when writing letters, but my penpals and I seem to have no trouble with that. We just talk about what we’ve been reading, watching, and listening to, and the things that we’ve been doing, as well as a lot of other subjects. One thing that is really fun and keeps our conversations going is making a list of around five questions we ask each other every letter. One of my pen pals and I also write a little message in Elvish that we have to decode at the end of our letters which is a lot of fun! 

Things you can include in your letters

If you have a penpal, you know that it can sometimes be hard to think of flat and light things to include in your letters if you want to give them something, so here’s a list of things that I have given and received while pen-palling to give you some ideas:

1. Homemade bracelets
2. Stickers
3. Teabags
4. Pressed flowers
5. Bookmarks
6. Seeds to grow
7. Drawings 
8. Gum
9. Origami
10. Photos
11. Pieces of patterned paper
12. Sticky notes
13. Playlists
14. Washi tape samples
15. Watercolor pictures 

(We also used to send each other our English essays when we were still in our class:))

I know that this list looks a little like some you might find online, but I hope they’ll be some new ideas for you as you try to think of things that will fit in your envelopes!

Postage 

Something that is important to know is your post office guidelines. It’s been very handy for me to have a scale to weigh my letters on so I know how much postage to put on before I send them off. It’s also very fun to do envelope art and make your own envelopes, but just be cautious that your address is legible and your homemade envelopes are sturdy enough and an average size. When I first started out, I was pretty nervous about what the post office would accept, but after some research and experience, I’ve found that it’s best to be cautious, but not to worry too much about it. The post office sometimes accepts things you wouldn’t expect!

Communication

One thing that I find very helpful when writing to a penpal is having a different way to correspond along with your letters. It’s nice to have their email so you can quickly tell your penpal when you will be gone and won’t be able to respond to a letter and things along those lines. It’s also nice to just have a way you can easily send pictures to each other and send quick messages to one another to strengthen your friendship even more!

I hope you enjoyed reading this post and that it was helpful to you, or at least gave you a closer look into writing letters to a penpal!

Thanks for reading!

-Amelia 🙂